


Lol I don't even know ....

by KymberNycee



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 17:01:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17047100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KymberNycee/pseuds/KymberNycee
Summary: I wrote this cus I read the book; Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes (a no-bullshit guid to world mythology) by: Cory O'Brien.





	Lol I don't even know ....

**Author's Note:**

> I used some things from Cory O'Briens book. Don't sue me, I'm broke.

Deadpool walks up to Thor after he helps the Avengers out with something.  
[Read, annoys them while there working.]  
{I like to think of it as entertaining them while they do their duty. Ha, duty.}

"So... Your father is Odin, right?"

"Indeed! Odin is my and Loki's father!" Thor says exuberantly as he walks twords the quinjet.

{Ooh, big words B-).}

[How are you using emojis? We're voices in his head!]

{Actually, we're thought bubbles. So that means we're essentially script! Therefore :-P}

[Oh, very mature.]

{I thought so. (^-^)} 

 

"ODIN IS NOT MY FATHER!!!" Loki says from where he's tied up, over Thor's shoulder.

"Riiiight... But that's basically a yes that the Norse mythology is real, right?"

"Well, I suppose. But you Midgardians have got a lot of things wrong about all of us. For instance, you have Loki as my uncle, not my brother. Also..."

"Ya, ya. But does that also mean that Greek and Roman mythology is correct?"

"Well, in a sense yes. Why?"

[Oh, dear.]

{Here we go again...} 

####### THREE DAYS LATER ########

"THAT MEANS THAT YOU CANT ESCAPE THESE MYTHS NO MATTER WHAT!"

"Deadpool, what are you talking about?" Spiderman asks as he eats his taco {TACO!!!} while he sits on the edge of the roof. 

"Well, think about it. Thor and Loki are real, we've faced Ares several times, Hercules has teamed up with the Avengers several times. Poets can't stop writing about them, and we name our planets after the Roman God's.!" Deadpool stops to take a bite of his taco, then continues talking with his mouth full [Rude.] {But TACOS!!}. "So that means all of the messed up things that are used as story's PROBABLY ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!!" 

Spiderman finishes his food and sighs "So?"

"Well that means that Cronus not only ATE his kids, but Uranus stuff them BACK INTO Gaias cunt. Like he must have been..."

Spiderman sights and rubs his head. He doesn't even try to stop Deadpool or change the subject. He knows that that would just make it worse. [Smart boy.] 

"...Like, 'THESE ARE NOT THE BABYS I ORDERED! I AM RETURNING THEM TO THE BABY STORE!" 

Spiderman leans back and gets comfortable, know this will take a while. {Why doesn't he just leave?... GASP! He has a crush on us, doesn't he!?!?!?}  
[Shut up stupid. He's probably just being polite.] 

"... And you know that painting with Aphrodite standing on the shell with all the angels and stuff? Dick foam. All of it."

Spiderman gets up and starts to get ready to swing away. "Well, this has been fun DP, but I gotta swing. Same time next week?" {Totally a crush.} And he swings away.

"... So the morale of the story is that if your not ready to be a father, consider all of your options before skipping straight to cannibalism. Oh! BYE BABY BOY! SEE YOU ON WENDSDAY!"  
[Today's Friday.] "FRIDAY!!" 

########## 1 WEEK LATER#########

"...And Hera was like 'SO YOU LIKE BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF SNAKES, HUH? WELL HOW ABOUT I MAKE YOU..." Deadpool shoots a Doombot "... A woman, for some reason. Seriously, why a chick? I mean, she could have turned him into a snake, or give him erectile disfunction. But NOOO, she makes him a WOMAN!" 

"How long is he going to go on about this?" Tony asks Spiderman.

"Honestly?" He says as he smashes two robots together "This could go on for a while. The debate between eggshell and snow white when on for two months."

"... Because apparently he never saw his own reflection in the ENTIRE SIXTEEN YEARS OF HIS LIFE! Or like, taken a bath. Or had a cup of water. Or, ya know, looked REALLY HARD at a bald guys head." 

"All right. Good job everybody, time to head back to the tower." He looks over at Deadpool who is still talking about Greek myths. "Thank you Deadpool, Spiderman, for helping. We'll see you next week for the emergency training."

"No prob Cap! Later!" Spiderman says as he grabs Deadpool and webs away.

######### 4 WEEKS LATER########

"... And the moral of that story is, don't count your chickens before they hatch. Because the chickens might be minotaurs." 

[You know your alone, right?]

"Am I? Huh, whatever... Now, what should we have for dinner?" 

{TACOS!!!!!}

[It's three in the morning.]

{TACOS!!!!!}

"So, breakfast then."

{TACOS!!!!}

"Tacos sound good."

{YES!!!!!!! XD}

[Sigh.]


End file.
